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Thoughts beneath an orange tinged sky
by: jd stephans

i sat.
beneath a blanket of warmth,
that emanated from heaven to -earth,
in a free flowing manner.
i was not capable of -comprehending,
the majesty,
and unknown depths,
that surrounded my being.
my mind tried;
tried to understand,
yet fell short.
and tears flowed,
not from sadness,
but a knowing that all i knew,
was a drop in the barrel,
of all that there was to know.
and it was comforting,
the ever-present notion,
of my tiny role in the fabric of time.
it was peaceful to know,
that something or rather someone,
as small and unassuming as i,
should have a thread of my own,
interwoven with prettier colors;
more important strings.
that my thread,
of normal hue and devoid of the -gold of giants,
should have a purpose,
a length,
a destination.
that i in all my mediocrity,
could exist as a complex being,
even as my complexity,
was simplistic in the grand scheme.
and that i could matter,
that my story could matter,
that my voice could make a difference.
i aimed and yearned,
to separate from myself,
and to walk in truth,
devoid of lies and darkness.
but alas,
i found myself unable,
as my humanity tied me,
chained me,
to thoughts that held captive
my mind.
and i found myself unable,
to focus solely on selfless things,
the way angels must do,
but instead fought within myself,
as i danced between,
self sacrifice and self worship. .
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